Archives for posts with tag: musings

Creativity suppressed
by depressed thoughts
the war is fought
in the mind
a palace becomes
a prison

paper doll

She felt like she was made of something other than flesh and blood

she felt paper thin like a paper doll

a paper doll with a torn heart

when she should have skin like an elephant’s

hers was more like parchment

she was a paper doll

a paper doll with tattered dreams

tears streaked her flimsy cheeks

this paper life curled at the edges

she wanted to strike a match

and burn down this paper house

dying embers falling like rain set aflame

this paper doll wanted to sail away

in a paper boat.

Cracks in the sidewalk

of dreams

falling like leaves

littered

on the ground

a glimmer remains

The breaking dawn

brings a new beginning

by the time the moon reflects

it feels like the end of dreams

stripped bare

as a tree

standing

in cold despair

Birdsong fills the days

which are shorter

like life

without dreams

how to begin like

the rose burgeoning through concrete

A tear trickles down

dying embers

of a flame

smothered

Could it be the end?

She wondered

The end of September

Today is July 9th, I was born on this day 33 years ago. Did I do anything to  celebrate? No. I did get a free pastry (in my case a cookie with candy pieces that closely resembled plain m&ms) from Panera Bread and free noodles from Noodles & Company. Other than that its just the same ordinary day on repeat. Do I have a birthday wish? Just one, that my writing career would take off. And I could leave the grueling retail industry behind.

At the end of January I decided to take my destiny into my own hands and self-published my middle-grade novel, The Strange World of Neve Rimbrl. But of course I didn’t have near the success of the people I read about (Amanda Hocking) My royalties are $3.64 so I can’t quit my day job for my dream job.

So today on my ordinary birthday, I went to the library and wrote down literary agents that represent mg/ya novels. So maybe I’ll strike gold with one of them. And maybe I’ll finally know what its like to do what you love.