She felt like a drop in the ocean. So small and insignificant. Everyday she was just going through the motions. Dreams in the rear-view mirror, closer than they appear. She felt like a failure, no matter how hard she tried. Nothing.  She was well into adult hood and she felt her only dream slipping through her fingers like water. She knows that everybody isn’t meant to be rich. And she wasn’t trying to gain the world’s acknowledgement. She just wanted a career in children’s literature. But every turn she was turned away. All her life she didn’t feel she was good at anything. She struggled through school..life.

She had this creative spark. But she could feel it dying everyday when she went to her retail job. She spent much of her twenties applying to corporate jobs, only to receive  a form letter explaining how someone else was more qualified. She really didn’t want to be stuffed in a cubicle. She wanted to make her living writing middle-grade fiction. She reads about all the book deals of other people (some much younger than she is). After reading about the success Amanda Hocking had with self-publishing, she decided to go that route.  But of course being a successful self-published author wasn’t in the cards. Selling 10 copies doesn’t get you noticed by agents and publishers.

She’s on the cusp of being 40 and she wonders if all her youth was spent chasing a dream that so many seek but few find.

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